I miss the good old days..

When I first started going out on shoots, it was a little while ago. The camera I was working with was new and so was I when I came to shooting and all that jazz. I had the classic two days of training with the one who knows, then flung out there to work the rest out on the job. Except I had come from post production, so shoots scared the absolute shit out of me.

I have to go somewhere different all the time?

There’s nowhere to park?

Who are these people?

You want me to work 8am to 12am? Are you mental?

I don’t know what that flashy light means.

Once I got over the shock it was actually alright. Three large-ish cases in the car and off I go. Set up the camera, set myself up and sit down.

 

Except the usual problems, usually caused by the fear and loathing of “The new camera”

 

Why is that button there? It should be on the other side!!!

Well if I had designed it, I would be able to take on board your comment. But I didn’t so don’t moan to me.

 

I hate this camera. I’d rather use xxxxxxx

You know, I’m not personally offended that you don’t like the camera. It’s not mine. I didn’t design it. All I know is I have work for the whole month, and you don’t know when you’re next job is.

 

So you’re the camera assistant right?

No.

Well I’m going to treat you like one ok?

No.

Pass me xxx

Yeah, I’ve got things to do, like, what I’m paid to do? If I had time to be your assistant I wouldn’t have a job. Unless it’s being a stand in for a ten year old, because apparently I’m the right height for that…

 

Camera’s broken! I knew we should have used film!

Well it may be because you’ve pointed a huge firey hot light at it, then thrown a coat over it to “stop it from burning” meaning the fans couldn’t work. I’m quite sure a film camera wouldn’t haven’t been any better .

 

The camera would stop working, but that’s when I flew into action, fixing the problem, showing up the naysayers and feeling important. Then back to sitting down with a cup of tea.

 

I digress. It was fun. But then it got all serious. No longer would I set up my laptop on a box and sit hunched over it for 12 hours, round the back of the set where I could get away with a snooze and maybe some online shopping. There were vans I set up in, trolleys I sat at. The camera stopped breaking. People liked the camera, were impressed by the trolley and all of the wonderful things I had to remember how to set up each time. I had not one blue progress bar, but many. And the boxes of gear. So many boxes.

 

I still miss it a bit, but not dragging the trolley back up the ramps into the van. It was like pushing a fat man on rollerskates up a hill. At some point you’re going to loose all strength and he’s going to roll back on top of you and kill you. And I didn’t want to die by “£2000 Dreamcolor professional grading monitor” to the face so I had to give it up….and now I run TinyDog

 

PS Thanks Jeff Brown for everything you have done for me over the years x